


Thats My Son

by VoidLeviathan



Series: Operation: Help Bubby and Gordon Escape Black Mesa [3]
Category: HLVRAI - Fandom, Half Life VR But The AI Is Self Aware
Genre: Alternate Universe - Wings, Angst, Black Mesa Sweet Voice, Blood and Violence, Canon-Typical Violence, Dark-ish, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Empath, Hurt, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Injury, Its not like...detailed....at all really, Just some shitty scientists its okay I promise, None of the main characters!!, Not Beta Read, Science Experiments, So much goes on here, This is just the first pat, Tranquilizers, im so sorry, mild depictions of violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-29
Updated: 2020-07-30
Packaged: 2021-03-05 20:28:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,411
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25581361
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VoidLeviathan/pseuds/VoidLeviathan
Summary: "I just...I need you to follow me. Theres something here and I-" he coughs, more auburn with dust colored lights quickly flowing from his mouth again. The static in Gordon's head returned fast, but the more he focused on it the more it became clear that the static itself was an emotion. Anxiety and mistrust."Lead the way then. Be right behind you."
Series: Operation: Help Bubby and Gordon Escape Black Mesa [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1852270
Comments: 7
Kudos: 72





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Im sorry this wasnt beta read but I fixed what I caught?  
> I'll probably end up going back and fixing more

In the chaos of making their escape from Black Mesa, Gordon with the help of Tommy had steadily began to get a grasp on his empathic abilities and their ties with the sweet-voice. He was learning to not simply project, but take in other's emotions as well. Feel as they felt. And train the sweet-voice into working as a blocker only when it gets overwhelming rather than always actively keeping everything numbed.

This meant he had to learn the groups 'emotional patterns', as Tommy called it.

"Every person has an emotional pattern. Winged and aliens like Bubby or myself have stronger patterns than people like Coomer and Darnold. Bubby's pattern when I feel it feels very rough and edged, but it has its soft points. Thats his main pattern trait."

"And what about Coomer's?" Gordon asks.

"Oh his is uhm...its hard to explain. Dr. Coomer's feels like a constant soft cloud running through your head. Calm but ready to burst when it needs. Not nearly as uh- as loud as Bubby's is."

"So the Darnold's would feel the same way?"

"Yes! Except his is more a very fluffy cloud. Holds a lot more than he'd like to admit. He feels very relaxed right now but soon as things get scary it shifts and feels heavier. Why don't you try and focus on someone's current emotion first."

"Anyone?" Gordon asked, wings fluttering slightly with nervousness.

Tommy fully understood why he was nervous. Taking in emotions could be stressful and tiring on the brain.

"Maybe uhm...maybe start with Benrey. How is Benrey feeling right now?"

"Uhm...well right now from the looks of it he seems calm but…" Gordon closed his eyes, soft round lights freeing themselves from his mouth while he tried focus. "Auburn to Azure so...anxious but secure?"

"Good job!" Tommy beamed. "You're getting much better at reading emotions properly. Now I want you to focus harder. Try to physically and mentally feel what Benrey feels. Like you're in his shoes. If you do it right then you can focus on the emotional pattern."

"Right. Just have to focus." Gordon closed his eyes again, channeling Benrey's own emotions once more. Focus. All he needed to do was focus. Black feathers upon broken wings began to ruffle violently, shaking slightly as he tried to keep his mind on Benrey. He could _feel_ the pattern. He could. But no matter how hard he tried he couldn't grasp it.

With a frustrated groan Gordon opened his eyes, hands racking through his hair in attempts to calm himself down. The sweet-voice betraying him with bubbles of blue and purple.

"Theres no reason to feel miserable over it, Mister Freeman. Feeling and reading emotional patterns takes a lot of practice and time." Tommy reassured him, "I'm sure once we get out of here properly and have a safe space to actually practice you'll be able to feel them in no time."

"Are you two done over there? If we don't get moving I'm going to fucking combust!" Bubby cut in. It made Gordon laugh. Perhaps now was a better time than ever to move while things were still quiet.

Four hours of traveling passed until the group finally decided it was time to rest. Benrey had managed to find them an old unused lab and they all silently agreed it was probably a safer bet to stay there than out in the open where anyone could pass by and catch them. Being his usual self, Benrey eventually disappeared without a word. 

Gordon figured he was probably just scouting the area in case of any security or scientists coming by. Once he was sure the others were settled to rest, he wrapped himself in his wings and tried to sleep as well.

Sleep unfortunately did not come easy.

What Gordon had gotten that night instead was a soft fuzzy feeling in his head. Like static on a television but...familiar. Why did it feel familiar?

He opened his mouth to call for Tommy only to be caught off guard by a sudden burst of auburn light escaping him. His feathers ruffled slightly, mind racing in attempts to figure out what was causing his anxiety. The more he thought the stronger the feeling of static had gotten. Why was there static? What was making him anxious?

 _"Every person has an emotional pattern. Winged and aliens like Bubby or myself have stronger patterns."_ Tommy's words rang.

It was an emotional pattern.

Gordon was unintentionally focusing on someone or something's emotional pattern.

But where?

And how?

This section of Black Mesa wasn't properly used, last he recalled. Not since the specimen breakout incident.

Gordon didn't process that he even managed to get up and start walking until he was nearly a mile away from where they were resting. The static grew louder and louder, and the feeling of anxiety grew stronger with auburn again escaping his lips while he moved. Auburn lights fading fast into...dust?

"Anxiety and mistrust."

Gordon just about hit the ceiling with how high he jumped. Benrey now in front of him simply cackling away at the startled scientist with wings fluffed up twice their average size.

" _Jesus Benrey, don't do that!_ " Gordon hissed, "You nearly gave me a heart attack!"

Benrey only laughed more.

"Did I scare ya? Little baby bird all afraid of Benrey? Scared I was gunna get ya?"

"Yes! Yes I was scared you were going to get me! It's not like Bubby and I are currently in a life or death escape situation or anything, asshole!" Gordon sighed, few teal lights escaping between words. "Why are you even fucking here?"

"I should uhh- should be askin' you that actually. Should be with the group. Know its uh...dangerous and all that stuff. Especially you alone with the uhm- you know…"

"Fucked up wings and emotions. Yeah I fucking know." Gordon sighed, "I just...I need you to follow me. Theres something here and I-" he coughs, more auburn with dust colored lights quickly flowing from his mouth again. The static in Gordon's head returned fast, but the more he focused on it the more it became clear that the static itself was an emotion. Anxiety and mistrust.

"Lead the way then. Be right behind you."

They didn't have to walk much further. Maybe another half mile before the came across the area they were looking for. An area unfortunately heavily active with scientists and guards alike.

"Figures my stupid emotion sensors would lead us here."

"They don't uh- don't know about you and Bubby yet. Don't get a lot of information sent down here unless they really need it. Checked when I scouted around the place. Winged can walk around here and stuff so you should be fine or whatever."

This didn't ease any of Gordon's anxiety, but he needed to know who was at the end of this pattern, if thats even what it was. By the looks of the area this place was made similarly to where they held Bubby's prototypes. That made Gordon's wings shutter. He hated the idea that maybe this entire trip was for a poor unsuspecting prototype.

They eventually came to a room filled with scientists similarly to the others. The static in Gordon's head was almost completely unbearable to stand. He was crying. Why was he? Why did this all feel so _familiar_? Why did it feel like he'd felt this static somewhere before? This feeling of deep anxiety and mistrust. The only time he let his emotions get this bad was when he'd been found out, but even then they were never strong enough to project onto others and he certainly couldn't just project emotions onto himself. 

A feeling of dread settled deep in the pit of his stomach. He couldn't pin why, but Gordon knew deep down that whatever he found in that room was going to hurt him. He asked Benrey to have his back in case things went south, Benrey keeping a very close eye on the whole situation.

Gordon took a step into the room.

His mind cleared.

What he found was something he wished he didn't have to see at all.

"Sir you aren't meant to be here." One of the scientists stated. Gordon didn't hear them.

He simply stared ahead at the glass casing within the center of the room.

Or rather...

He stared at what it contained. The source of the static. The emotional pattern.

" _Sir._ If you don't leave I'm going to have to….have to…"

They didn't stand a chance at reacting fast enough. Gordon swiftly shoving the scientists out of the way with his wings and heading straight for the glass containment area. Because there, in the center of that room, was his son.

Joshua.  
  
Or what looked like Joshua. The hair and wings were very much his sons, but the rest of him didn't quite look as familiar. Something about his eyes, his feet. What had they done to him? What did they do to his son? He needed him out of there now. Joshua's quiet sobs could barley be heard through the glass, it made Gordon want to free him faster. He needed _out._ Gordon started to slam at the glass. Wings taking more and more damage than they already had and shoulders bruising heavily the more he slammed against its walls. Tears streaming down his eyes, completely overwhelmed with the emotion of it all. Whether it was his own or his son's, he didn't know. All he knew was that he was going to save him. Black Mesa could take Gordon's wings and hurt him all they wanted, he was their creation, but _no one_ would hurt his son.

He heard the scientists load a tranquilizer. Heard the bow they were holding click and felt its ammo hit his back, but that didn't stop him. 

"Thats my _son!_ " Gordon hissed, " What did you fucking do to my son? Why do you have him? Who fucking allowed you to _ever_ hurt my child! **_This wasn't in the agreement!_** "

Slam after slam after slam and not a single hit cracked the glass. So the damaged subject decided to switch gears and turn his attention to the scientist who was quickly loading another tranquilizer into their bow. As they got ready to aim, Gordon attacked and before he knew it, Benrey attacked as well. The room turned to a complete bloodbath. Screaming heard over more screaming. He was sure others would come rushing in for backup at any moment. Gordon didn't care. As long as they had gotten what they deserved for ever hurting his child. He hated Black Mesa. He wanted out of here. He wanted his son out of here.

"You're a monster!" One of the scientists coughed. Gordon wasn't given time to react before Benrey had gotten a hold of them. His beastly claws swiftly ripping into the man's flesh.

The tranquilizer shot previously finally started to kick in much to Gordon's dismay.  
He still needed to free Joshua.  
To get him to safety.   
To escape and get back to the group and...and…  
  
The last thing Gordon heard was the shattering of glass and gentle sobbing.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again! This wasn't quite beta read and I fixed what I caught myself but if theres ever any mistake I see going through it again I'll be sure to fix it.

Gordon was out for nearly four hours, leaving the group in a state of worry. They were lucky enough the place they’d chosen to rest was so forgotten in the walls of Black Mesa, and that Benrey didn’t lead anyone here when running away with Gordon and the child in arm, but it didn’t leave any comfort for the rest of the group knowing a tranquilizer could take any one of them out for this long. That was dangerous.   
  
Especially dangerous for Tommy, Benrey and Bubby.   
  
For now, however, they would have to deal with the situation at hand. Gordon currently hurt and unconscious and Benrey holding what looked to be a very small child of his and Tommy’s own species save for the wings on his back.   
  
Bubby growled, “What the fuck did you two do!?”   
  
“Don’t pin this on me! This was Feetman’s idea, had nothing to do with it. He was acting all weird and kept releasing a bunch of sweet-voice. Said his head felt staticky.” Benrey hissed, “Next thing I knew he was practically ripping apart scientists with his teeth. Which is honestly pretty impressive since his teeth are the only dangerous thing about him.”   
  
“So then whats your explanation for...for that!” the older winged man pointed to the child currently in Benrey’s own four arms. Right. The child. How would Benrey explain the child? He wasn’t even fully sure who this kid was himself.   
  
“I don’t know. Said somethin’ about him being his son. Don’t yell you’re scaring him.”   
  
“I’m scaring him? _I’m scaring him_ !? You two run off, get yourselves near torn apart by the things we’re trying to escape, and then come back beaten and bloodied with a kid and you’re worried about me-”   
  
“Bubby dear.” Coomer placed a gentle hand on his partner’s gray wings to sooth him. “Perhaps...we should talk in another room? I don’t think yelling is really going to help any of us right now. And I worry that you’ll...you know...the fire and all...”   
  
Bubby’s jaw snapped shut. He wanted to say more, but he knew better than to go against what Coomer asked. So with ruffled wings he stormed off to the room next door, Coomer following close behind. 

  
Tommy wanted to be upset as well. Benrey deliberately went against his request to make sure Gordon didn’t do anything stupid that could cause the rest of the group to be caught. They both knew Gordon couldn’t properly control his own abilities sometimes and neither could Bubby, thats why they worked so hard to keep a close eye on both winged experiments in the first place, so going ahead and let Gordon go off and hurt himself was an absolute danger.   
  
However. The more Tommy looked at the child nuzzled tightly against Benrey’s chest, the harder it was to stay upset. He started to think about what he would have done in that situation had he been in Gordon and Benrey’s shoes, and from the way Benrey really explained everything, Gordon seemed to have known who this kid was. He looked no more than six years old in terms of human age. He wasn’t so sure for he and Benrey’s own species seeing as the child looked somewhat like both of them.   
  
Tommy knew deep down Black Mesa could always get worse. He didn’t think experimenting on children would be on the list of things to make it that way. It made him feel sick. Made his skin crawl. He hated this place. Needed to get Gordon and Bubby out. Needed to get everyone he cared about out.   
  
They just had a few more days until they reached the right lab...hopefully.   
  
For now, Tommy had to focus on the current situation. Darnold had already started to assess and take care of the damage Gordon caused himself, so Tommy would look after Benrey and their new group addition.   
  
“So...a child?”   
  
Benrey shrugged, “Freeman kept sayin’ it was his. Something about how they had no right to hurt his kid. Never uh- never seen him so mad. Not since that first fight with Bubby. Really scary stuff and all that. Idiot got himself his with a tranquilizer or something and I had to bust his son out of the containment thing they had him in.”   
  
“So you...uhm...you’re mister Freeman’s son? Do you have a name?” Tommy asked gently.   
  
The child wouldn’t look at him. Wouldn’t even make any noise. He just kept his face hidden against Benrey, probably scared out of his life, the poor thing. His poor little wings were completely ruffled out in attempts to make himself look bigger than he actually was.   
  
“Hey its okay. Look uh- I-I don’t plan on hurting you. I promise I’m not like-”   
  
“Coat.”   
  
Tommy tilted his head, “Coat?”   
  
“Bad coat.” the child whimpered, bright lights of auburn and dust escaping his lips.   
  
“Thats anxious and mistrust, bro. Might wanna take off that coat. Doesn’t like it.”   
  
“I-I- right. Let me…” Tommy hastily slipped off his lab coat, tossing it to the side to reveal the soft blue dress shirt underneath. “See! Not bad. Just- just trying to help you. We’re friends of your dad’s. Its okay.”   
  
That seemed to help. Little feathers visibly flattening down and antenna twitching with slight curiosity, watching Tommy kick the coat further away to empathize more that he meant no harm to him.   
  
“Now could- uhm- can you tell us your name? Do you have a name?”   
  
“Joshua” replied the child.   
  
“Joshua.” Tommy repeats. A name very human for an alien like this child. Though Tommy supposed his name wasn’t any different. “Its very nice to meet you Joshua. Can I ask you why you’re here in...in Black Mesa? How did you get here?”   
  
Joshua pressed himself against Benrey once more. Tommy could only take that as a negative answer. He wasn’t supposed to be here, taken away from whoever had been caring for him at the time as a petty punishment to Gordon for running away. That wasn’t fair. None of this was fair. If Tommy wasn’t already so furious he’d be angrier about the entire ordeal.   
  
Use his true form to take out whoever was in charge of this hell facility.   
He wouldn’t.   
But that didn’t stop him from thinking about it.   
Maybe he would...later...when they were all safe.   
  
Tommy was broken from his thoughts by a soft shake on the shoulder from Darnold. The scientist pointing to Gordon finally stirring form his accidental slumber. He looked exhausted, probably felt that way too with the amount of tranquilizer that was in the dart itself, but the second his vision cleared just al little he was instantly trying to get up and look around the room for what Tommy only assumed was Joshua.   
  
Gordon’s feathers immediately started to ruffle, lights of red slowly escaping him while he looked around more frantically.   
  
“Josuha! Where’s Joshua!?” He cried out, “Where’s my-” his frantic calls were quickly cut off by Joshua himself. The small child clinging to his father instantly once Benrey let him go. Gordon’s own arms and wings wrapping protectively around his son. The red lights quickly fading into azure once he was sure his son was safe.   
  
He was crying.   
Gordon’s face may have been hidden but with the way his shoulders and wings were shaking, the others knew he was crying. None of them said anything. They didn’t want to take this from the scientist. This one moment of clarity.   
  
“I’m so sorry Joshua.” Gordon sobbed, “I’m sorry I ever let them hurt you. I didn’t know that they...that they’d ever- if they ever do that again I’ll-”   
  
Joshua simply responded with a sweet-voice of his own. Fuchsia bubbles bumping against the azure. Forgiveness. Fuchsia meant forgiveness. Thats all Gordon could ask for and all he wanted right now. He stayed there holding his son, crying until his throat was dry and his eyes hurt. Joshua cried as well.   
  
Gordon himself eventually went back to sleep, still over exhausted over the entire ordeal before. Joshua made himself comfortable on his dad’s wings and slept peacefully as well, thankfully seeming to have finally settled down after being on edge for the past four hours.   
  
Tommy watched on quietly. Benrey and Darnold having left to go check on Coomer and Bubby in the other room. He wondered what cruel twist of fate could have ever done something so wrong to someone who had already been through so much. Wondered if it would only get worse from here. Wondered how hard it would be to protect not only Bubby and Gordon, but Joshua as well not that his life was also on the line.   
  
Tommy frowned. If he had to work three times as hard to protect and free his friends then so be it. He wouldn’t see them hurt by this place any longer than he had to. Refused to let fate harm them time and time again. He would keep Gordon and Joshua safe, as well as the rest of the group. Keep them out of harms way.   
  
If Tommy ever found the man behind this all.   
He’d kill him.   
That was a promise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sweet-Voice Translations!  
> Auburn to Dust - Anxious and Mistrust  
> Red - Danger or Panic  
> Azure - Secure  
> Fuchsia - Forgiveness

**Author's Note:**

> MMMMM I had to split this into two because this part was getting a bit too long for one drabble and I figured all the comfort would be nice for a second part so you get all the hurt this part I'm so sorry.  
> You can yell at me over @ Enby-Crow on tumblr ofc. 
> 
> Sweet Voice Translations  
> \- Auburn to Azure: Anxious but Secure  
> \- Blue to Purple: Feeling Miserable  
> \- Auburn to Dust: Anxious and Mistrust  
> \- Teal: Surprise! (Or needs meal, ofc)


End file.
